Okay, Let's get Technical...

Hey guys,

First things first, I got a twitter:

www.twitter.com/misskyomiwade

Secondly I've had a reallly nasty case of writers block... so if you could excuse the little drought *ehem* of blogging.

I just had a little epiphany of sorts after coming off the phone to one of my girlfriends which I thought I'd share with you.

and it was that maybe, the trick is not to focus on the technicalities and just live life

Now obviously I don't mean to say this as some sort of grand revelation or secret to life. Nor do I mean technicalities in regards to work and theory related matters. When I say technicalities I mean, each time a situation in your life has come when you've thought, well technically I shouldn't be doing this because of x y z.

For example you may not put a lot of energy into a project for someone because 'technically' the work they produced for you wasn't up to par

Or

I'm not going to text this person back straight away because technically, they took a long time to reply to my message.

Or

I don't want to take up a dance/fitness class because people will laugh at me because I cant dance- therefore I will look like a fool. and you know, I'm not a fool.

'Oh he must think I'm playing!'

If you look at what's going on here you can realise just how dangerous this is because we end up focusing our energy on minor details whilst the bigger picture slights of of sight due to principal.

Now don't get me wrong.... principles are important. But why would you hold yourselves back from experiences due to pre-conjured thoughts people MAY have, or not exercising your full potential, at the expense of someone else's failings? Even worse stop your self from communicating with someone when the point is you want to speak to them, or you wouldn't have texted them in the first place.

I think it's very important to just live sometimes because things will never be smooth sailing or perfect, but if we know that, then we can work on getting life as close to perfect, whilst still existing in reality.

Even if we are to specifically look at relationships. We can sometime stifle growth, and our own happiness, due to technicalities we feel we have to enforce; regardless of their irrelevance!

We can have one set thing in out head like for example 'he has to take me out and pay or he's not serious about me' or 'I'm going to wait said time before I'm intimate with him'. And we do this because we assume the worst case scenario's. The idea that he could be after one thing, or that he's not putting his money where his mouth is because he doesn't think your worth spending on. But the truth is, this isn't the case with all men- so why do we cling on do them so tightly?

Happy People? Yeah (8)

The solution it seems would be to judge situations individually, and not by a whole sex's reputation or your past experiences for instance. Make room for and allow the happiness in your life, you really don't want to be that person, sat wrapped up in technicalities when it comes knocking at your door!

x Ky x

On a lighter note however whilst attending the Drake and J.cole concert, I found myself swell with pride when he shouted 'ya dun know!' at the crowd in a 'London' accent. Made me proud to be British mate!

*wipes tear from eye*

Oh Yeah That's Right your Doing You...

Oh dear... It's been so long guys, excuse my rustiness! There has been so many things I wanted blog about but I have just been busy and can't be bothered about everything. However im trying to fix up look sharp now so no more blog droughts... I promise!

Today's blog has been initiated on a collective consensus among friends, which I think is best described through a scenario, so I shall set it... You haven't spoken to a guy in a couple months.. few weeks etc and all of a sudden they pop out of nowhere I Miss You. Now, this is not primary school where this would be cute, and not even secondary, actually better yet this isn't a dream/movie-this is real life. And in real life probably about 25% of I miss you's are actually genuine. I hate to be cynical, but when they say they miss you, ask yourself exactly what they miss? Literally break down all the stuff they might have gained/ enjoyed from being in your presence, ESPECIALLY when its a situation where they didn't even seem that interested when you guys were together/ seeing each other etc...

How has this gone from He's Just Not That in to You get off my d*** in this short space of time?

Now ask yourself why they've chosen this day of all days?, did you change your profile pic, go to a partay looking particularly hot, or is it just that you haven't been hollering that much (or slyly ignoring texts.. not particularly intentionality but just because you kind of don't care any more). When getting male opinion on the situation yesterday he just laughed and basically explained how when a boy see a girl happy with herself and her life it is Very Attractive. As opposed to when your sad, feeling a little lonely/ frustrated and generally feeling a lack of attention.

Grr, where's my attention?

As girls I feel sometimes we don't realise how detectable this is to men, and how I think it's scaring them off. It could explain why sometimes there seems likes there's a huge rush of guys hollering when a couple months ago, there was nothing. It seems the best thing to do in this situation, as cliché as it sounds is to Do You.

'Listen up Ladies!'

Now I am completely aware of how worn out this statement is, and most of the time girls say they are when they really aren't. But honestly, only positive things can come of you doing things for yourself and becoming the sort of person you aspire to be. Channel all the energy you have thinking/talking/ dressing for a man to come your way into something personal. for example

1. Work particularly hard on an essay/project- the satisfaction you get will be really empowering, especially if you suceed, then treat yourself to your favourite take out or a shopping trip.

2. Try to match your underwear- it doesn't have to be just because someone will see it, just because it looks nice when you look in the mirror.

3. Focus on a hobby (not hubby) if you don't have something extra curricular that your good at, find one, its never too late to develop one. Dance, writing, styling (if your in uni simply join a couple societies- see how that works out. If your in second/third year I would suggest only one... nobody's trying to fail a degree out here)

4. Do something that makes you happy(not guy related)!

5. Work on your appearance- just because you don't have a man don't mean you don't have to look good. Yes you do, and don't expect the guy from Nicki Minaj's Right Through Me video to find you whilst your not looking up to par- that's just ignorant. I'm not saying you have to pile it on everyday. But a bit of mascara, a nice outfit and your hair looking good will make you feel better about yourself. Whilst also teaching you mentally that looking good, doesn't have to be because of a man.

6. Last but not least is spending time with friends and family. This is probably the biggest of them all. Its so important to appreciate and enjoy the people in your life, rather than the fleeting guys who take ages to text back or don't know if they want a relationship. Ask yourself why your so willing to get out of your bed and do things for them and not so much for your friends. Then take the time out to do little things for them and mediate on how many people you know love and care about you genuinely. you will be surprised at how many there are, bask in that, not what you don't have. Before you know it you will be in a state on contentment, which a guy will be drawn to and you will find yourself with a nonchalance about the situation.

Something also to hold on to is that tables always turn... He'll be back eventually. But that's another day and another blog... So until then:

Enjoy being you, because nobody else can do that!

& Listen to J.Cole Friday Night Lights

xoxo

Ky