Oh Yeah That's Right your Doing You...

Oh dear... It's been so long guys, excuse my rustiness! There has been so many things I wanted blog about but I have just been busy and can't be bothered about everything. However im trying to fix up look sharp now so no more blog droughts... I promise!

Today's blog has been initiated on a collective consensus among friends, which I think is best described through a scenario, so I shall set it... You haven't spoken to a guy in a couple months.. few weeks etc and all of a sudden they pop out of nowhere I Miss You. Now, this is not primary school where this would be cute, and not even secondary, actually better yet this isn't a dream/movie-this is real life. And in real life probably about 25% of I miss you's are actually genuine. I hate to be cynical, but when they say they miss you, ask yourself exactly what they miss? Literally break down all the stuff they might have gained/ enjoyed from being in your presence, ESPECIALLY when its a situation where they didn't even seem that interested when you guys were together/ seeing each other etc...

How has this gone from He's Just Not That in to You get off my d*** in this short space of time?

Now ask yourself why they've chosen this day of all days?, did you change your profile pic, go to a partay looking particularly hot, or is it just that you haven't been hollering that much (or slyly ignoring texts.. not particularly intentionality but just because you kind of don't care any more). When getting male opinion on the situation yesterday he just laughed and basically explained how when a boy see a girl happy with herself and her life it is Very Attractive. As opposed to when your sad, feeling a little lonely/ frustrated and generally feeling a lack of attention.

Grr, where's my attention?

As girls I feel sometimes we don't realise how detectable this is to men, and how I think it's scaring them off. It could explain why sometimes there seems likes there's a huge rush of guys hollering when a couple months ago, there was nothing. It seems the best thing to do in this situation, as cliché as it sounds is to Do You.

'Listen up Ladies!'

Now I am completely aware of how worn out this statement is, and most of the time girls say they are when they really aren't. But honestly, only positive things can come of you doing things for yourself and becoming the sort of person you aspire to be. Channel all the energy you have thinking/talking/ dressing for a man to come your way into something personal. for example

1. Work particularly hard on an essay/project- the satisfaction you get will be really empowering, especially if you suceed, then treat yourself to your favourite take out or a shopping trip.

2. Try to match your underwear- it doesn't have to be just because someone will see it, just because it looks nice when you look in the mirror.

3. Focus on a hobby (not hubby) if you don't have something extra curricular that your good at, find one, its never too late to develop one. Dance, writing, styling (if your in uni simply join a couple societies- see how that works out. If your in second/third year I would suggest only one... nobody's trying to fail a degree out here)

4. Do something that makes you happy(not guy related)!

5. Work on your appearance- just because you don't have a man don't mean you don't have to look good. Yes you do, and don't expect the guy from Nicki Minaj's Right Through Me video to find you whilst your not looking up to par- that's just ignorant. I'm not saying you have to pile it on everyday. But a bit of mascara, a nice outfit and your hair looking good will make you feel better about yourself. Whilst also teaching you mentally that looking good, doesn't have to be because of a man.

6. Last but not least is spending time with friends and family. This is probably the biggest of them all. Its so important to appreciate and enjoy the people in your life, rather than the fleeting guys who take ages to text back or don't know if they want a relationship. Ask yourself why your so willing to get out of your bed and do things for them and not so much for your friends. Then take the time out to do little things for them and mediate on how many people you know love and care about you genuinely. you will be surprised at how many there are, bask in that, not what you don't have. Before you know it you will be in a state on contentment, which a guy will be drawn to and you will find yourself with a nonchalance about the situation.

Something also to hold on to is that tables always turn... He'll be back eventually. But that's another day and another blog... So until then:

Enjoy being you, because nobody else can do that!

& Listen to J.Cole Friday Night Lights

xoxo

Ky

You Cant Hurry Love but You Can Threaten it in a Dark Ally...

Sad or scary fact it may be. Many women get to a point in their lives when they make the statement (whether in their head to their mirror, or too their nonplussed girlfriends over lunch) I want and am looking for a husband/man.

The truth is there comes a point where you are just tired of kissing frogs.

'Great another man who thinks hes too 'hard' to have emotions...

when I say emotionally you say retarded?'

Or dating guy for how long only to find out your not compatible, taking ten steps forward and then being violently shoved back to your starting point. It becomes tiring to sit up in a tower waiting for some prince in silver who made a wrong turn and ended up at so n so's house, whilst your just chilling, weave getting dusty, nails growing out- the point being (frustrated sigh). That it is frustrating waiting for the One! And the question being is it bad to essentially 'shop' for that Mr Right, or should one just go with the flow.

"Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your weave!"

The problem is when 'going with the flow' you may accept things about your partner which you believe will number 1 change or number 2 be adjustable to. But the sad part comes when both people come to a daunting realization that maybe certain traights shouldn't have been overlooked, maybe these clashes of personalities are too great to get over.

So in shopping for the one, you could avoid certain latter dissapointments OR resentments. I.E superficial as it may be can I get over him being short...... or am I gonna call him a short ass prick when we get in a fight?

'Good for nothing short ass prick, he should be lucky hes with me... Shyyt I gave up heels for you!'

Or will I not mind the fact that 'hes doesn't really do romance' and resent the fact that your anniversary present is a kiss on the cheek and an I love you in oppose to a weekend in France. roses. bed. candle- you get my drift... And if you can is it really 'getting over' or is it just 'settling'. I for one am a firm believer in soul mates and the concept that you can find a perfect man for you, so Iv'e decided that I'm not going to settle.

However I cannot recall the amount of friends that have said to me 'always go for a boy below your league... that way they're grateful'. To that concept I am a tad skeptical. Firstly as a boy will only be grateful for so long. As he wasn't all that to begin with (as a good friend of mine says) he can only get better in your eyes. You misses perfect can sadly only fall from grace, and minus weave, make-up and those generally rough days, lies a downgrade to what he originally ordered. And with him only getting better in your eyes, before you know it you'll be the one that likes him more, he'll become 'gassed' and there will have been no point in being screwed over by an 'average' guy. Secondly, the feeling on inferiority may lead him to cheat due to insecurities. He may think, well to be honest this wont last as shell probably find someone better looking and new- therefore I might as well prove to myself that I still 'got it' by having sex with this reasonably hot girl (that's not my girlfriend).

Sorry Abouriiite!

Conclusion being that maybe just maybe, it's okay to make sure your future man has all the right ingredients, and there nothing wrong with returning the next day if your not satisfied! Theres no point in wasting either persons time on something you know will fall apart later. So the best option would be to trust your instinct and kick all the guys that think chivalry is dead to the curb!

Who knows Mr right could be just around the corner...

I for one... Can't wait! (tyson- oh hell to the yes)

xoxo

Ky

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People are fragile things you should know by now, Be careful what you put them through...

This blog has been initiated on a variety of events that really made me think about the way people treat people sometimes. A guy thought it was okay to be rude to a friend of mine because shes 'easy' and 'therefore he can'. There is so much wrong with this statement, but sadly its a view so many boys hold; forgetting that these girls are HUMAN BEINGS. And more specifically females, like their mothers ans sisters who they would be so quick to be protective of. It's just genuinely sad and it makes you think who got into their heads and made them believe their own superiority. I really doubt that any girl wants to be deemed 'easy' for the entirety of their life, but with this kind of attitude, how are they able to change? Baring in mind it's these same guys who with engage with literally anything for sexual pleasure (no protection) and think they're invincible to STI's, calling girls dirty when in fact- they probs have aids.

(Cleavleand voice) ohh no i'm so shocked I have this sti even thought I never use protection ¬¬...

And thats so serious I will do a future blog on sti's and std's because they are very real and some with no symptoms which certain people actually need to be aware of... But anyway, coming back on topic... From re-watching He's Just Not That In To You I was just reminded of all the trauma us girls go through, heartbreak and mixed emotions over all these things that guys do (not calling back, saying hurtful things etc..), meanwhile these guys are just CHILLING at home actually not caring or stressing whether you guys are not official or not. Maybe a case of girls over-thinking, but simultaneously, if this is known to boys; you'd think they'd be abit more sensitive, or at least aware, caring and more tactless in what they say/do. But the truth is: most of us are just cowards afraid to say what we really feel, due to fear of nothing better coming along or even the loss of pride...

I realize this was more of a rant... lol... but on a lighter note... A friend of mine rolled up to my uni room in these bad boys!

If this isn't the epitome of blackness then I don't know what is!... haha (market 3pounds)

xoxo

xXxKyxXx

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Your Gettin On Aint Ya?

The main topic of todays blog is growing up. It occurred to me as I saw people around me getting engaged and in the mists of serious relationships and I started to think: shit... Life's been moving along if you haven't noticed. people have kids and after uni plan to begin there lives with their partners and such & I began to think; Going uni, getting a degree, finding the one, getting married and having kids where all things we ( I know I definitely did) just assumed would happen. But even with our degrees, who's to say we're getting a job? Millions have degree's- theres not allways the jobs to accommodate that or what most people end up doing is getting a job in a completely different field just so they can earn a living (can be really disheartening). Also if you think about it, someone making that decision to spend their whole life with you i a pretty frickin big deal and have kids with etc.. what if we just don't find that right guy/ girl??

I mean look at Jenifer Aniston!

She's talented and beautiful and she's still looking for Mr Right

Just a little thought anyway- Getting older is kinda Scary!

xoxo

xXxKyxXx

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VOTE! Vote! Vote?....

May 6^th marks the day of some major elections taking place and unfortunately there are a vast majority of people that I know that just won’t vote. As a boy in my Uni claimed ‘I’m just like every other black boy- I don’t vote’ (Something he’s obviously got from his friends and even possibly his family). He sees it as an obvious stereotype and wants to go along with it so he fits into his label; and so sadly that’s the way it’s going to stay for a lot of people as they feel there’s just no point. ‘Their one vote won’t change anything’ and that ‘all parties are corrupt’.

But maybe it is a case of some being more corrupt then others- so for young people from ethnic minorities (Like the boy from my uni) it might be a chance to take action against the party you really don’t want **cough cough the BNP***! There are of course, a lot of young people who have only had the power to vote for a couple of months. Which are thereforeless informed as they are not used to politics being relevant to them personally- and do not see it as their responsibility. But it is literally a part of growing up, an action that shows we’re doing something about the world we complain about, and if you’re happy with it- vote to keep it that way!

Think about you and your situation: it’s important to think of the sort of government you want your child to be brought up with, do you still want there to be tax credits for childrenfor instance? (I know some of my friends got their tax credits as pocket money) Something that will only exist under certain parties i.e. Labour for instance... Free child bus passes were only bought in by the Labour Mayor Ken Livingston... The conservatives for example plan to tackle the gender pay gap, which includes stronger legislation to prevent employers discriminating and better careers guidance for young women and the lib democrat’s plan to give us a right to sack ‘corrupt Mp’s’ and to earn up to 10,000 without being taxed...

But whatever happens- I feel we should at least to do our research. There’s a lot of propaganda around the election that people are reading from peoples “Facebook accounts” for instance (how’s that serious research??) and it may not be a good idea to take the line from the conservatives simplistic poster campaign ‘I doubled the international debt, vote for me’ either- because dig deeper, that’s not entirely true either.

A lot of the financial problems Brown is having to deal with is due to the US sub-prime mortgage market (lending people with no savings and poorly paid jobs loads of money to buy houses they couldn’t make payments on) andbanks across the world taking bigger and bigger risks with our money – which is largely to blame for the country’s financial “capoot.” To be honest what might be useful is to check out their strict policies instead of the hype around it all:

Conservative Policies: http://www.conservatives.com/Policy/

Labour Policies: http://www.labour.org.uk/policies/labour-policies

Liberal Democrats Policies: http://www.libdems.org.uk/our_manifesto.aspx

So next time someone strikes up a conversation about the election, you KNOW what you’re talking about (throw in a couple of really long words to spice it up)-But whatever you do be smart and use your vote.

P.S.

Just for funzies check out how ‘down to earth and grounded the conservatives are’:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-462313/Dave-Cameron-says-hes-touch-reality--wealth-blue-blood-wonder.html

xoxo

xXxKyxXx

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It's Girl Talk...

On walking in on my mum and her friend having a conversation about men- as we women do all the time, I found myself being involved with their conversation instead of being shunned out with fears that I might hear words such as 'sex' and possibly 'willy', as I usually am. I took this as a sign I'm growing up (dread - will discuss in later blog) and that they could see this; but I was quite surprised by what I was experiencing. It was basically like what me and my friends do i.e. a guy was texting and they were both thinking of smart replies and lying about being on a 'date' that they weren't really on to make mr so and so jealous! what surprised me even more is that I was hearing things my girls and I say such as 'your too soft your just guna et him off the hook later, and not saying this and that to his face'. Also surprising was the fact that I was the most mature voice in the conversation! My point was that they shouldn't play games as old as they are (I though adults were done with all that game playing??). Even me myself find it pointless to continually play games throughout a relationship. I think for the relationship to work you have to be open and do your best to keep communication the best between both people- but obviously not too 'heart on your sleeve' like Gigi from He's Just Not That Into You.

I mean she was ridiculous & very annoying and I guess as it was an American film she got a happy ending but in real life, really? I Thinks there's such a thing as being too eager for love, and its readable and unattractive, sorry.

To be honest I mean I shouldn't have been that surprised by the conversation, I mean I watch Sex And The City & Girlfriends and so on, and I'll be honest- I love girly chats.

I love when we curse men, the cheeky stories, everything really the sheer drama of it all! BUT one thing I have to say, which pains me to say as it echoes words of my ex is that: Nobody can know the situation that your in better than yourself. So although films like He's Just Not That Into You and your friends resent valid points regarding advice on men. Not all men are the same, therefore such advice wont always work for you. also as a good friend of mine said If you have five or six girls that you let dictate what your saying all the time- what are you gunna have to say when its you's two alone. Friggin awkward times that's what it is... You tend to know in your gut what the right thing to do is anyway so I think its best to trust that instinct they got like an 85% success rate anyway (not real figures lol). Also the thing is if you take someone else's advice, if it all goes wrong you'll feel stupid, because why is your friend the reason for problems with your relation ship with your man? Logically, it doesn't make sense. Take advice but at eh same time be wise. One thing I would take away from He's Just Not That Into You though is 'if a guy really wants to see you, he'll make it happen' this is like 98% true unless he has like really bad confidence issues in which case you'll need to take the lead (sorry bout that one mate).

On a lighter note I got a pair of hot black shoes for 5 pound! That's how you know your in Landann

And not over-priced Canterbury- 5 pounds for two piece chicken and chips with a drink?! I think they should make a Dixy in Canterbury they would have soo much business, no lie. I can see the gap in the market myself only thing is running a chicken shop isn't my dream... So ill leave it to the next man.... (inspirational voice) and I'm sure... He will make history with it....

P.S.

I'm Loving Marvin from JLS and Rochelle from The Saturdays as a couple

Gorgeous girl!- At least if were going to lose him well lose him to a hot chick (sigh...)

xoxo

xXxKyxXx

Remy weave, natural hair & The 20 year old virgins!?

Hey guys, Firstly I'd like to say that omg I took

out my weave and my hair has GROWN, I was taking it out yesterday and I thought the length was due to the fact that I still had extensions left in- but noo It was all mine. But ive already bought some Remy for my next weave and I want some romance curls for july, so I'll only be natural for a few days....

It's Remy Biiiiiitch! hahahahha ohhh shitt! (Nicki Minaj Voice)

But still I loves it! (my natural hair I mean) My mum even said to me 'omg kyomi you have hair' - Par I know she's just lucky she got blessed with gorgeous hair whilst I got the nappier end of the spectrum, but oh well (sigh) such is life......... weave definitely makes your hair grow boy, I love weave... I genuinely do. I think some boys need to be quiet with their dislike for weave as if to say when they tried to have cornrow they didn't try and add a little 22 extension cause the extension wouldnt reach their neck-

just cause it didn't work for youu-pahaha!

But genuinely if you started seeing a girl who wears weave, don't try and tell her to take it out, if it was that much of a problem you should have approached someone who didn't wear it- just saying.

******************************

But anyways onto the main topic of this blog and that is:

Being a virgin in uni :O

*random thoughts*

Hmmmm...See its a difficult thing because in regard to seeing a guy who wants sex, before it was fair to say oh well if he wants sex so bad it's clear he's only after one thing; on to the next guy who will be patient, perfect and understanding blah blah blah and so on and so forth. But now its different. Guys we're mixing with can be like 22 and how are you going to tell a 22 year old that sex isn't on the agenda (well not at least for a year and it has to be special) sex is expected in such adult relationships and unfortunately... the longer we've left it the more likely we're going to come across these not necessarily bad guys but ones that aren't content with a strictly platonic relationship.

Of course it doesn't help at all that were in uni were sex is EVERYwhere: upstairs at a house party, in the Venue toilets, in your room mates room. It's practically in the smelly Canterbury air that we breathe which unluckily works as a disadvantage to us virgins. Most people expect it of the uni lifestyle or at least from a relationship. Apart from that aspect of uni is the fact that relationships in uni travel so fast. usually you go out and him coming to yours, sleeping round, cooking with (sometimes practically living with) is all steps you take in the relationship but at uni. this happens all at once its naturally that it can be overwhelming engaging in quite quickly serious relationships and sex is on the cards even earlier than usual. Even though it might be natural progression of the relationship be aware for the guys who just want to have sexy time with as many girls as they can before they leave uni.

Also in regards to faith, part of you just feels like if you've come this far you might as well wait till marriage and let God's will be done... But finding a husband in uni seems soo far fetched it's crazy.

In so saying that most people find their wife/husband at uni. My english teacher and the head of psycology both found their husbands studying at the university of kent- shyyt thats the only reason I came here... (i'm 100% percent joking) but i think in regards the special guy/girl were looking for is best to que sera it out. Good luck & allways trust your gut!

xoxo

xXKyXx

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